In order to keep our partners happy, we often express affection for them. This could be through kind words and compliments, or by doing things to demonstrate that you love them. 

You could be bestowing gifts upon your loved one, or offering to do things for them to show them how much you care, but have you ever stopped to think about what their love language is? 

Let’s take a look at what a love language is and why it is so important to know – and learn to speak – your partner’s love language. 

What Is a Love Language?

The term love language is one we use to describe the way in which a person expresses love to a partner, and how they like to receive love, too. 

There are actually five common love languages. These are words of affirmation, receiving gifts, acts of service, physical touch, and quality time. While we may relate to most of these love languages when in a relationship, one may be more valuable to us than others. 

Words of affirmation are verbal acknowledgements of affection, such as saying “I love you,” or encouraging and supporting your partner. This may not need to be verbal and could be written and communicated through texts or emails. This can make your partner feel understood and supported. 

The love language of quality time is when partners feel most loved when they spend time with you. These partners enjoy active listening and enjoy having your full presence without distractions. 

Acts of service—this is when you do things to make their lives easier. It could be making a coffee for them in the morning or doing their laundry when they’ve had a busy day. Small, meaningful acts of service mean a lot to them.

Those who have gifts as their love language love receiving gifts as symbols of your love. It’s not about materialistic things, but more about the thought behind it. 

Those who prefer physical touch feel most loved when they have physical signs of affection, such as holding hands, cuddling, kissing, or sex. They feel most connected and loved when they’re close to you.

Some examples of a love language are romantic dinners, taking long walks together, playing games together, or completing a puzzle or task together. Others prefer having meals cooked for them or engaging in focused conversation and quality time together. 

Why It’s Important to Know Your Partner’s Love Language

By discovering what your and your partner’s love language is, you can speak this language to them more often, and more effectively understand their needs and desires. This can help you support your partner more and grow as a couple. Figuring out their love language can help you avoid disagreements, as theirs may be different from yours. 

How to Tell What Your Partner’s Love Language Is

Love languages are all about showing how you feel rather than telling them. If your partner frequently says things like: “You haven’t said anything about my outfit,” then they may desire words of affirmation. If they argue with you about not spending time together, then they desire quality time. 

If your partner feels as if you never instigate sex, and they think that this means that you don’t love them, then physical touch could be their love language. By considering these instances, you can figure out what ways in which your partner wants to be loved. 

Love language success is not about sharing the same language; it is about learning to speak your partner’s language and them learning to speak yours. If you are struggling to communicate your needs with your partner, then it could be beneficial to speak to a therapist or counselor who works with couples for help. With their guidance, you can figure out each other’s love languages and support your partner more effectively.