No one gets married thinking they’re going to eventually get divorced. Unfortunately, it happens far too often. In fact, according to the APA, 40–50% of first marriages end in divorce. 

When you’re going through a divorce or things were recently finalized, it can feel overwhelming. It’s an emotional rollercoaster that can leave you feeling numb, angry, lonely, and everything in between. 

Thankfully, it’s possible to heal after heartbreak. Every divorce is unique, and whether yours was amicable or contentious, you can navigate the complicated waters with grace and strength, and you can look forward to the next chapter of your life. 

Let’s take a look at a few helpful tips that can make it easier to start the healing process. 

Give Yourself Time to Grieve

There is no ideal timeline for healing from a divorce. You might think you need to move forward quickly, maybe for your own well-being or because you have kids and you want to be strong for them. 

But, grief takes time and goes through stages. Allow yourself to truly feel your feelings, rather than ignoring them. Give yourself time to grieve the loss of your marriage. Suppressing your feelings will make the healing process longer. 

Lean On Your Support System

There are family members and friends in your life who want to help you through this stage. Let them. 

Sometimes, you’ll need a shoulder to cry on or someone to listen. Other times, you might need practical help like someone to watch your kids or run an errand for you. Remember that you’re going through a grieving process and the people who care about you can help you get through it. While it might be tempting to give in to symptoms of depression and isolate yourself, that’s one of the worst things you can do. Stay involved in your social circle and don’t hesitate to accept help and support. 

Find Yourself Again

Now is a great time to rediscover passions and hobbies or dive into new ones. When you’re in a marriage for a long time, you can start to lose your sense of self. A divorce can make you realize that you’re not entirely sure who you are on your own anymore. 

This is a great opportunity to find yourself again, whether that means stepping back to who you used to be or turning over a new leaf and deciding who you want to be in the future. Do things you think you’ll enjoy. Take a class. Try something new. Not only can diving into passions serve as a healthy distraction, but you’ll start to feel more self-confident and whole again.

Practice Forgiveness

No matter the reason for your divorce, you have to be able to forgive if you want to truly move on. That means forgiving your ex for whatever part they had to play in the separation. But, it also means forgiving yourself. 

If you choose to stay angry at your ex, the only one you’re really hurting is yourself. Those emotions will make it difficult to reduce your stress and find happiness, and your ex won’t even know about it. Holding onto personal guilt has the same effect. While you might not ever forget what happened between you and your former spouse, you can — and should — forgive it. 

Practice Self-Care

Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s necessary for everyone, but it’s especially essential when you’re going through something difficult. Find small ways each day to incorporate wellness into your routine. It might include getting enough sleep, exercising, or eating healthy meals. 

Consider trying mindfulness or meditation to reduce stress, and to promote your mental well-being. Small self-care practices can go a long way in helping you move forward. 

If you’re still struggling to heal from your divorce, don’t tackle the journey alone. Feel free to contact Integrative Psychotherapy Group to set up an appointment. Therapy is often a great way to better understand your emotions and learn how to manage them so you can look forward to your next chapter.